Twas the night before a nuclear Christmas

 

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all thro’ the house
All the creatures were stirring, as nervous as a mouse,
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes new legislation soon would be there;
The cabinet were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of stock market records danced in their heads

And Melania in her ‘kerchief, and I in my MAGA cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters, and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow,
Gave the luster of Trumpian objects below;
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a thread-thin conspiracy that wasn’t quite clear,
With a little old driver, very pale and straight as a ruler,
I knew in a moment it must be James Mueller,
More longer than necessary his investigation became,
And he whistled, and shouted, and started calling names,
“Now! Trump, now! Pence, now! Manafort and Kushner,
“On! Putin, on! Comey, on! Flynn and Junior;
“To the top of the porch! To the top of Trumps wall!
“I’ll take my time and investigate you all!
As white lies before the Clintons fly,
When I meet an obstacle the Dems will stomp and cry,
So up to the house-top the story-lines flew,
With the sleigh full of lies‍—‌and deceiving media, too:
And then in a twinkling, I heard from over there

A missile being fired and tested in the air,
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney Kim Jong-Un came with a bound:
He was dress’d all in grey, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes looked tarnish’d with ashes and soot;
A bundle of missiles was flung on his back,
And he look’d like a psycho just opening his pack:
His eyes‍—‌they were black! No dimples: too fat,
His cheeks were filled out, his forehead so flat;
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
and they released some pictures of him walking in the snow;
The stump of a missile he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke encircled his country like a wreath.
He had a broad face, fairly obese not to trim
he executed members of his family on a whim:
He was chubby and plump, a right spiteful elf,
And I laugh’d when I saw him in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
His desire to fire missiles filled the Japanese with dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And kept testing his missiles; the world knew he was a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose
And giving a nod, a mad man arose
He sprung to his launch codes, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew, like the down of a thistle:
But the allies exclaimed, ere they drove him out of sight‍—‌

We’ve shot them all down, Merry Christmas, good night.

UF/UF 180 Franken-stine

Moore-Franken 2020! No? Well, at least it appears they have something in common. Creepy-ness.

No one is getting the Big Story when it comes to Donna Brazile’s  book and revelation. We do.

Oh, and you can’t miss our discussion of Miss Bumbum. C’mon, just that is worth the listen.

Here’s the new procedure. The link below will take you to our new content carrier and you can listen from there. Or, act like it’s 2017 and subscribe to us on iTunes.

http://unfilunfet.libsyn.com/ufuf-180-franken-stine

 

Miss Bumbum 2017. It’s better than looking at the creepy picture of Al Franken again.

UF/UF 179: Oh Donna!

Ok, just for clarity, we don’t really like Donna Brazile, but now we fear for her safety.

And according to some excerpts from her book, so does she.  Donna, when you throw dirt on the Clintons, girl, better strap up.

Hey, heads up Houston Texans, don’t be hot house flowers. Man up, fellas.

From the Nashville research department, who knew snails had memories? Or brains, even? Apparently memories can be erased, and you’re…..sorry, what was I saying?

But you gotta listen, ‘Merica. We don’t do it for the fame, we do it for the truth.

Now do us a favor and go to iTunes and subscribe to Unfiltered Unfettered. and tell your friends if you have any.

Also, you can now find us on Soundcloud, if that’s a preference. Go to Soundcloud and search Unfilteredunfettered

Doesn’t she look like she could’ve been your favorite Aunt?

UF/UF 178 “Don’t let the door hit you….”

Is it a republican exodus or a house-cleaning? Depends on who you listen to.

Well, we’ll sort it out on the “Halloween Spooktacular.”

Meanwhile, we still don’t know anything more about the largest mass murder in American history. hmmmm.

And, to honor our Spooktacular, we name our top five movie villains.

I mean, you have to listen to that. You’re welcome America, but we don’t do it for the accolades.

 

Corker-Flake 2020? I kinda don’t think so.

 

Uf/UF 165: Octopussy

From Russia with Love

 Or something like that. Just when you thought Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale weren’t real. Well, the Trump administration can’t shake the Russia stuff because, well, this time it’s actually their fault. Hey, just grab em by the Octopussy. The bigger question is; why would you need to go to Russia to get dirt on Hillary? Also, there’s a few things aggravating us here at UF/UF. We clear the air. Take heed.

But you gotta listen.  

Or come find us like this:

Go to iTunes and subscribe to Unfiltered Unfettered, and tell your friends if you have any.

You’re Welcome America!

 

vell, hello Jr., how are you dahlink? Vee should talk, yes?

UF/UF 160 Media Meltdown

UF/UF 160 Media Meltdown

 

This week, we will look at the journalistic concept of “I hate you, but hey, I can still be fair.”  Yea, maybe not so much. Listen for yourself.

Man down! The Pope had commitments this week and the Bully goes solo.  It’s not the same but I did what I could.

Who’s bungling what?

I just don’t know how a robber as dumb as the one the murdered Seth Rich (in what the authorities call a ‘bungled robbery’) is smart enough to elude the authorities for over a year. But hey, just call me crazy.   

But you gotta listen.

Go to iTunes and subscribe to Unfiltered Unfettered, and tell your friends if you have any.

You’re Welcome America!

Well, at least they love each other.

UF/UF 153: The New Normal

President Trump delivers his first speech to the joint session. He behaved himself and delivered a good speech with some special moments. When Van Johnson says “that’s when he became the president” you know he did something right. The democrats counter-attack with more accusations. Jeff Sessions says (in your best Steve Martin voice), “well reeee-cuuuuuse meeeeah.” I linked it below for you juniors. Because we do more.

Plus, we discuss the disaster of Lake Titicaca. Giggle all you want, but its real and it’s a disaster. But, not our disaster, so who cares, right?

And RIP to Bill Paxton.

But to get all the sordid details, you gotta listen.

Go to iTunes and subscribe to Unfiltered Unfettered, and tell your friends if you have any.

bill-paxton-aliens

RIP Hudson.