Teaching little Jimmy about his little Jimmy (ABC’s and the birds and the bees)

Ah, the sequester. We’re all panicked, and teachers across the country are getting laid off, Obama said so. Except in Chicago, where they’ve decided to include sex education in kindergarten. Yea, kindergarten.

Yes, it’s quite the plan, going all the way up through the fifth grade. Read about it here.

Well, let’s see here. We all know, I assume, how badly American schools trail other countries in academics. In a recent ranking, American students ranked 25th in math, 17th in science and 14th in reading (Huffington Post). You know, that would be the three R’s, reading, writing, and ‘rithmatic, so to speak. So, here’s a way to get better, let’s start teaching sex education through the fifth grade. That would surely help.

Well, see, there’s a bigger agenda here. Several, actually. First, you, dear parent, certainly can’t be trusted to teach your children about the “S” word. No, too much parental responsibility there. We’ll have to let the government do that, because you might teach your children what you want them to believe instead of what the government wants them to believe. Because the other agenda, of course is to teach them, to quote the article “…instruction will cover sexual orientation and gender identity. Students will be introduced to terms and definitions associated with sexual identity, including those related to heterosexual and LGBT populations, in an effort to bring awareness, promote tolerance and prevent bullying, said the school board.” Well, this is certainly what fifth graders need.

See, the government wouldn’t want to teach little Heather about the basics of biology and reproduction, and then let her go home where one of Heathers two mommies will have to explain why one of them doesn’t have a penis. Because one of Heathers two mommies might explain that people that aren’t accepting of their lifestyle are troglodytic bigoted homophobes who still hang on to some antiquated notion of “tab b goes into slot a.” “See, little Heather,” mommy 1 might say, “Those people aren’t enlighted, open or accepting. People that are enlighted, open and accepting are those people that think like us. See how that works. If people don’t think like us, they are troglodytic…well, you get the picture. We’re the open-minded ones. Now go play with your gender-neutral toys until you decide what gender you want to be and who you’ll want to sleep with.” No, we should leave complicated explanations like that to the government. Ah, progress indeed.

However, I’ve gotten a little off topic. Back to the subject, unless you’ve gotten so angry with me that you’ve stopped reading. See, I don’t give a rat’s red rump about Heather’s two mommies. It’s a different subject. We’re talking about education, and that shouldn’t be part of the discussion, if you’ve made it this far. I’d like for Heather to be able to compete on an international level at the three R’s. So we could start to narrow the gap between us, Finland, and South Korea, let’s say. So that we could once again be on the international stage, academically. We’re falling behind precisely because of nonsense like this, and we’re all allowing it. We’re not educating our children, because some on the spectrum have decided that social sexual issues are more important than teaching our kids curriculum that would help them in the hard sciences. Progress indeed. Like the frog that’s starting to boil in the pot.

Keep sex out of the schools. Families should teach their children. Yea, except we don’t, right? Too busy with American Idol?


7 comments on “Teaching little Jimmy about his little Jimmy (ABC’s and the birds and the bees)

  1. JETSR says:

    Nicely put Tony. Parental responsibility, shirked by some, denied by others, and if allowed, overtaken by the government. Academic curriculum that goes after every topic except the ones needed by our children and nation. Priceless.

  2. sassyhupp says:

    Great piece Tony … too many agendas woven in curriculum these days. Parents! … stand-up for your right to raise your children. ‘They’ think they can do that better than you.

  3. Karin Porter says:


    As a former educator – primarily 5th and 8th grades in CA – I couldn’t agree more. I can’t imagine teaching sex ed to my 5th graders. They’ll have to cut something out of their curriculum, so what will it be? Math, science, social studies, language arts? The accepted curriculum had already cut structured spelling education out of my 5th grade curriculum (in 1997 – the last year I taught 5th grade). I continued to teach it with my principal’s support, regardless of what the school district wanted me to do. See, we just weren’t ‘as advanced’ as the district thought we should be. The most I sex ed I taught in my 8th grade classes (’97 to 9/11/01) was the district-sponsored curriculum, and even then I left the ethics part out because I felt it was the parents’ responsibility to do that at home. (Btw… I sent the required letter home requesting permission for children to stay in class for that portion of the day – which was 6 weeks, the Spring quarter – but assured them I would not be teaching any ‘ethics’, and that MY application of the curriculum would focus only on the ‘science’ of reproduction. My principal again supported my decision, and that of my teaching partners. He was NEVER ‘that advanced’!) Then 9/11 came along and I was activated out of my 8th grade classroom and never had to worry about it again. I can’t even speculate on what elementary education in CA is doing, but I bet it’s not good. I feel for my friends left having to implement their nonsense.

    I love your posts! Keep ‘em coming.

  4. Two sep arguments here – and both dead on point IMO.

    Bottom line – (1) Kelli and I will be ultimately responsible for teaching our children sex ed, no matter how uncomfortable the topic and (2) I can be respectful of LGBT views, despite my fundamental disagreements, and I expect the same from them.

    Wishful thinking on that last point, I believe…

    • fmlinardo says:

      You may be surprised on that. We met several same sex couples during our time in the NICU. They weren’t radicals, they were more live and let live types. As a political block it might be a different story, but individually you tend to get what you give.

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