San Francisco is proposing legislation to ban public nudity, apparently because it’s on the rise in the Castro district. Supervisor Scott Wiener, who represents a district in the city and county, has proposed the ordinance. No, not Anthony Wiener, the scumbag who sent the picture of his, uh, wiener to girls. This is a good Wiener. The new ordinance, of course, will surpass San Francisco’s ‘skid mark law’ passed last year to keep people from sitting on public chairs naked (you, know without something under their butt). This ordinance, according to some, made the district the butt of a national joke. This time, Wiener’s upping his game. I’m not making it up, click on the links below.
Not all citizens appreciate the new proposal. “Nudophic bigotry has now taken root here in San Francisco”, said Rusty Mills, 69. “Nudophic bigotry?” Rusty, you’re 69 for goodness sake, put on a pair of sweatpants, nobody wants to see that.
I’ve spent a good deal of my adult life going to the gym. It’s always the old guys that walk around naked for 20 minutes in the locker room. One time I did an entire, 45 minute workout, came back in, and the same two naked old guys were still standing there talking about the stock market, starkers. I have a theory. I believe it’s because their wives won’t let them walk around the house like that. You know, they try walking around naked, and their wives are like “Oh no, nope, not gonna do that here, you put something over that.” So they go to the gym.
Of course, the new ordinance excludes parades and festivals. Wouldn’t want people to have to wear clothes for the gay pride parade.
Meanwhile, Hostess may stop making Twinkies. A tragedy if there ever was one.
…And after four year of our current administration, poverty is at an all time high. Congratulations on the election.
Skid mark law