Damage Control: Set Phasers to Spin.

Actually spinning news that’s bad for you into not so bad or even good news doesn’t take a phaser, or even any science at all.  It does require a lot of fiction smothered in lies.

The most obvious example is the first presidential debate of course.  The Obama team was in full spin control minutes after the debate ended.  The three blind mice actually blamed the moderator for Obama’s poor performance.  Tsk, tsk, tsk.  A good carpenter never blames his moderator, or something like that.

Then we had Al Gore claiming altitude sickness for Obama.  Man-Bear-Pig!  Click the link, watch the video.  You will be incomplete until you do.

And then some left wing nut jobs claimed Romney had a cheat sheet, as evidenced by a super slow-mo replay of him putting his hands on the podium at the start of the debate. It’s not even worth linking to. The Zapruder film is like High Def compared to that stupid clip. Google it young people.  Turns out is was his handkerchief, although it may have been Obama’s long form birth certificate, hard to tell.

The media was surprisingly forthright about it.  Chris Matthews of MSNBC, who has the biggest and most unhealthy man-crush on the President, just about called Obama a freaking loser.  His hissy fit was epic.  Watch it here: Matthews rant 

But then they had a day to recover.  Tired of trying to spin a terrible performance by Obama and a stellar performance by Romney, they, meaning the media, took to the lazy man’s spin – call the other guy a liar.  It’s so sad and embarrassing I don’t think it requires analysis.  Calling Mitt Romney a liar because he crushed Obama in the debate just stands on its own.

Then we have the other guys, known as Conservatives.  It’s hard sometimes, to discern who has the biggest pile of loons, conservatives or liberals.   (It’s really the libertarians, but they are very sensitive so we don’t like to mention it.)

What was the only thing that might cut short the Romney celebration of his great debate performance – the jobs report.  The report came out Friday and it was a little startling. It showed the US had added 114, 000+ jobs in September, pushing the unemployment number down to 7.8.  That’s a big mental barrier.  First time it’s been below 8% in forever.  But there are a lot of factors contributing to that number.  People stop looking, it’s not adjusted for the type, pay, and longevity of jobs, etc…  The actual number with all those and a myriad of other factors is more likely somewhere north of 10% unemployment.  But this formula that gave us 7.8 on Friday is the same formula that showed dismal numbers in July and August.

What is absolutely not contributing to the lower unemployment rate is number fixing by the Obama camp.  But you wouldn’t know that if you have a twitter account or watch any political television.

So it goes like this.  A prominent CEO, Jack Welch, a Romney financial advisor, takes to twitter to accuse the people in Chicago of cooking the unemployment figures.  The sheep who follow that right wing nut job jump on the conspiracy band wagon and it’s off to the races.  Never mind that Romney’s spokesperson is on CNBC’s Squawk in the Street business program saying in no way do they believe the nonsense about fixing, they just think the number is not accurate.  And Romney’s guy is right, for reasons mentioned above.  But not good enough for Jack.  Obama’s cooking the books he cries.  See his tweet below.

You don’t know Jack!

Not to be outdone, another genius CEO is heard from.

Mom: “Stevie!”
Forbes: “Well Jack said it too.”

Take at look at the amount of people who re-tweeted and favorited that one from Forbes. Now some of those people did it for the opposite reason, but I’ll bet a lot did it because they believe it.  Staggering to say the least.  I would be curious to poll those people about their feelings on the moon landing.  I may not want to hear the answer.

What I find most curious: where were these people when the same Labor dept. using the same numbers and formulas, came up with strikingly dismal numbers for July and August? Seems like they had the utmost confidence in the numbers then.  And there-in lies the problem when you deal in absolutes.  Once the situation swings back the other way, what do you do?  I’ll tell you what you do, you look like a freaking dope for all the world to see.

It’s similar to the gas price issue.  Newt, Glenn Beck, and a host of others were screaming with their hair on fire when gas got to $4.00.  Again, any right thinking person knows the President, any President or his administration, or congress for that matter, has 0.00% control over gas prices.  So where were those people, looking at you Newt and Glenn, when gas snuck down towards 2.99 in early summer?  It actually got under 3.00 in Knoxville but we are usually lower than the national norm on that.  So where were they? Shouldn’t they have been applauding the President for getting gas prices so low?  Yeah, not likely.  They were obviously silent on the matter.  Tougher question; where will they be when President Romney is staring $4.50 a gallon gasoline in the face.  Absolutes; great to get your mindless, unwashed, lemmings to riot when the absolute favors you.  Make you look pretty stupid when the pendulum swings the other way.

Well done Jack.  Nicely played Stevie.  You have confirmed yourselves as the Sith Lords we all figured you were.

Because as every 5th grader knows, “Only a Sith deals in absolutes.” – Obi Wan Kenobi.

Absolute video evidence Welch and Forbes are the Sith Lords we’ve been looking for. – click it!

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